The Intuitive Reasonings of Jessica

A couple of weeks ago, my mother sent Shingle Paradise a care package for finals week. It contained lots of delectable treats, including some fresh fruit. Most of it got eaten quite quickly. The very last thing to go was a coconut. None of us had ever had a real one before, and therefore we were a little unsure of what to do with it.

Finally, the day after the Jet concert, we carried it over to Cair Paravel, where Andrew was. We debated how to open it for a few minutes. Then I called Green Gable in quest of a saw. They had none. I then suggested to Andrew that he drill a hole in it so we could drink the milk. He did so, but, unfortunately, coconuts do not contain sweet coconut-flavored milk. I could have sworn they did. But alas, all the liquid inside was a little bit of nasty tasting oil.

Once we had emptied the coconut of the miniscule amount of liquid it contained, Sara and Andrew went outside to drop it on the sidewalk. I updated Andrew's to-do list while they were out. They came back in with fragments of coconut bark and delicious-looking white coconut meat. I eagerly sank my teeth into the white stuff. Once my taste buds registered the flavor, I was equally eager to dispel my teeth from it.

The simple fact is: real coconuts are disgusting. Who would ever have guessed? It smelled like the yummy dried stuff you can buy in a grocery store, but it tasted like soap.

Thursday afternoon found beautiful princess #1 and beautiful princess #2 in similar positions as the day before. There were subtle differences, however. Beautiful princess #1, having exhausted the royal supply of dark chocolate, as well as beautiful princess #3's boyfriend's gift from the night before, was now munching on milk chocolate. Beautiful princess #2 was lying on the couch connivingly eyeing a pile of sex books.






And they all lived happily ever after.

Today a beautiful princess came home from school, and found two other beautiful princesses at home. One was lying on the couch reading about homosexuality, and the other one was oblivious to the outside world due to noise-canceling headphones.

"I just found out that I aced A&D 105," said beautiful princess #1.

"Did you expect anything else?" asked beautiful princess #2.

The oblivious princess remained silent, no doubt due to her oblivious state.

Beautiful princess #1 sat down in the living room and began eating massive amounts of chocolate to celebrate being done with her freshman semester. Beautiful princess #2 resumed studying because, while she also was done with her freshman semester, this was not her freshman semester. Beautiful princess #3 remained oblivious.

"Well, since I have no homework, I might as well update my blog," said beautiful princess #1.

"I have so many papers to write," moaned beautiful princess #2 as she resumed reading Homosexuality in Ancient Greece.

Beautiful princess #3 readjusted her noise-canceling headphones, oblivious that she was becoming a character in a fairy tale.

Beautiful princess #1 updated her blog. "Perhaps I'll go out and do something fun now, since I have no homework," she mused. Beautiful princess #2 gave her a slightly jealous look. Beautiful princess #1 thought that she also detected a hint of jealousy on the oblivious princess's countenance. However, she had probably imagined it because it is physically impossible to be jealous of someone you are oblivious to.

Suddenly, beautiful princess #3 ripped off her noise-canceling headphones and exited her state of oblivion. "Finals time!" she shrieked and grabbed her orange backpack. After receiving good luck wishes from the other two princesses, she exited the castle.

"What to do without homework?" mused beautiful princess #1. Beautiful princess #2 scowled and buried her nose in Homosexuality in Ancient Greece.

Presently, beautiful princess #1 parted her lips and enunciated the word "blimey."

"What?" asked beautiful princess #2. "You can't possibly have any problems as great as mine," she said while bitterly eyeing a huge stack of sex books.

"Of course not," beautiful princess #1 agreed. "It's just... I suck at ending fairy tales!"

"Honey, everyone knows that fairy tales end in 'and they all lived happily ever after'," said beautiful princess #2, wishing that her problems were as minuscule as beautiful princess #1's.

"And that's not even all!" beautiful princess #1 continued. "I have another problem. We're almost out of dark chocolate!"

Just then, beautiful princess #3's boyfriend showed up.

And they all lived happily ever after.

This was a fun class.

This one is made out of cut black paper. As you can hopefully tell, it is five lines that convey movement.

Yesterday, I went to Von's to return a movie that was so FRICKIN' AWESOME that the boys at Cair Paravel are going to buy it for us. Since I was out anyway, I decided to go across the street to get a kneaded rubber eraser at Follet's.

At both stores, I felt bad for the cashiers who had to work on the Sabbath. Then, I wondered why they had to work on Sunday anyway. I came to the conclusion that it was because of people like me who shopped on the Sabbath, because, if no one bought anything on Sunday, the managers wouldn't waste the money to keep the stores open on Sunday. Then, I wondered if maybe I shouldn't shop on Sundays. But then I figured that the cashiers who were Christians (if there were any) probably didn't have to work on the Lord's Day because they'd probably told their managers that they can't work on Sundays.

So, my dear beloved readers, what is your opinion on the subject?